After the first couple of days of feeling overjoyed and high on love for your baby, you might notice that you are feeling quite low or overwhelmed. You might not be able to pinpoint why you are emotional, and those difficult feelings might come and go at various moments of the day.
No matter their birth experience, 80% of mothers go through what is commonly referred as the ‘baby blues’ within the first two weeks following baby’s arrival. It’s important for you to remember that your body is healing, and your hormones are falling rapidly after birth. Add to this a tiny human that needs you 24/7 - tiredness following the birth, and while your body adjusts to a disrupted sleep pattern will be playing a huge part in how you are feeling - and the huge responsibility of coming home with a newborn, and you will realise that it perfectly reasonable to require some time to settle into your new life as a mama.
Because we are all unique, someone's baby blues’ experience can be very different to another but here is a list of common symptoms:
Irritability
Feeling emotional, teary
Mood swings
Feeling overwhelmed
Feeling anxious
Unable to concentrate over even the smallest tasks
Feeling restless and unable to sleep
Low appetite
Although those symptoms might upset you at the time, they are usually mild and generally pass within 10 to 14 days after the birth.
Sometimes mums find it hard to talk about those feelings as they are worried of being judged, or that it could be mistaken with a lack of gratitude. However, I believe that the more we talk about it, the more we normalise those feelings, the quicker and the better we can be supported.
This support can be from loved ones (partner, friends, extended family), or by care providers such as your midwife, health visitor or GP.
Hiring a postnatal doula can be incredibly valuable in this instance as they have the expertise to support you. They also have more time to listen to you and provide individualised care.
There are lots of little things that you can try in order to improve your wellbeing while you navigate this period of adjustment. Here are my top 10:
Practice restorative breath techniques. If you have attended a Hypnobirthing course, you can use the calming breath technique that we use for the first stage of labour. You can find a reel on my Instagram grid where I explain the principles of the calming breath. Those are particularly good in moments when you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious. Positive statements such as 'I'm ok' on the out breath can help you feel more calm and in control.
Listen to mindfulness relaxation or positive affirmation tracks. Meditation Mama on Spotify has some lovely short tracks to listen throughout pregnancy and during the postnatal period.
Create a feel-good music playlist. This can be relaxing music, or music that gives you a boost of energy.
Take a bath on your own or with baby. Avoid using Epsom salts in the first weeks if you had stiches after birth). You can use camomille tea bags or essential oils instead.
Try to eat healthy and nourishing food and to stay well hydrated. Also avoid drinking caffeine as it can make you feel more emotional and on edge.
Try to take some gentle stretches throughout the day. Hours of breastfeeding can make you feel achy and stiff… Sometimes the smallest things go a long way.
When you feel ready, go for a short walk in a local park. Movement will help you release those feel-good endorphins. Remember to listen to your body cues and to not overdo it.
Set boundaries. Only allow visitors in your home if you want their company and make sure that they are offering their support - this could be in the form of a cooked meal, cleaning, or looking after baby whilst you have a nap or a shower... It’s perfectly acceptable for you to say that you are not ready to see people if you need to rest or have some quiet time to bond with baby.
Book a postnatal massage or reflexology treatment.
Try using essential oils: lavender, sweet orange, grapefruit, bergamot, and geranium are often recommended for the postnatal period. Avoid putting the oil on your skin so that baby’s delicate skin doesn’t get in contact with them. Instead, you can use an oil burner to diffuse them, or dot them on a tissue to sniff while taking a long and slow deep-breath. You can read this guest blog post about aromatherapy for more information about the use of essential oil in pregnancy and for the postpartum period.
I highly recommend 'The little book of self-care for new mums' by Beccy Hands and Alexis Stickland. If you are pregnant and reading this. Make sure that you have it ready on your bedside table for when baby arrives!
Remember to be patient and kind with yourself. Try to think about what you would tell your best friend if they were going through this new motherhood experience, and say it to yourself. You are doing great!
If you are persistently feeling low or overwhelmed after the first couple of weeks or if the symptoms are making usual day-to-day activities difficult or impossible, please make sure to seek support from a health professional. If you have had a difficult pregnancy, birth, or initial postnatal period, feel free to reach out to me directly as I might be able to support you to overcome those challenging experiences using a NLP technique called 3-step rewind.
