Grief in Motherhood: Feel It, Name It, Honour It.

I never expected motherhood to hold so much… grief.

Not the kind we speak of after tragedy, but the soft, persistent ache of time moving faster than my heart can keep pace.

One day I’m tracing circles on the swell of my belly, and the next that belly is gone - my baby curled against me at my breast, the two of us learning each other for the very first time, and already beginning the long process of becoming someone separate from me. I breathe in the soft warmth of their neck, and then, almost overnight, it’s replaced with the scent of sunscreen and sweet, cake-sticky fingers. Each fleeting moment is a tiny chapter of love that will never come again, and yet, in noticing it fully, I carry it with me forever.

These are the quiet losses of motherhood: pregnancy to birth, infant to toddler, toddler to backpack-wearing explorer. Each stage feels like a love affair we have to grieve when it ends.

I see this in my work with other mothers every day - the surprise of it, the guilt for even naming it grief. We’re told to treasure every moment, but no one warns us that treasuring can make the letting-go harder. In motherhood, the joy and the sorrow coexist; they are two sides of the same breathtaking coin.

Name the grief

It helps to call it what it is. When we name grief, we honour it. We say: This mattered. This chapter shaped me. I’m allowed to miss it.

Caring for Yourself in the Shifting Seasons

Postpartum life can be exhilarating, but it can also bring exhaustion, loneliness, and unexpected waves of sadness or anxiety. Supporting your own wellbeing is not a luxury; it’s part of mothering.

Here are small, grounding practices I share with the families I support - and use myself:

• Tiny pauses. A few slow breaths before you answer a cry or open the next snack packet can reset a racing mind.

• Sensory anchors. Notice the weight of a sleepy child on your chest or the sound of their laughter. These moments will later glow in memory.

• Gentle support. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a postpartum group, or a therapist, sharing your feelings - grief included - lightens the load.

These habits don’t stop time from moving, but they help you inhabit each stage with more presence and compassion.

Hypnobirthing: Preparation and empowerment in pregnancy

I guide expectant parents toward mindfulness as part of my hypnobirthing courses. These practices aren’t just about a calm birth - they are the foundations towards a more present and empowered parenting style.

Those same tools become priceless in postpartum life:

• Compassionate self-talk to meet the ever-shifting identity of “mother.”

• Positive and grounding affirmations for deeper confidence and self-trust - "I am a good mother, I've got this".

• Breath as an anchor when the nights stretch long and the world feels loud.

• Body scans to soften tension before it turns to overwhelm.

  
  

By cultivating mindful habits during pregnancy, you give yourself a gift that lasts beyond birth: the ability to be with your child - and yourself - right where you are, without rushing to the next milestone or clinging too tightly to the last.

Motherhood will always be a collection of hellos and goodbyes. The chapters will keep closing, and our hearts will keep stretching. But when we practice presence and care for our own well-being, we don’t just watch time slip away - we can truly inhabit it, moment by fleeting, beautiful moment.

If you’re curious about my hypnobirthing classes in Bristol or online, or you’d like compassionate support for postpartum mental health - whether that’s birth processing, easing low mood, or working through anxiety - I’d love to hear from you.

Get in touch