Exhausted but Can’t Sleep? Tips to Manage Postpartum Insomnia
- Charlotte
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
If you’re a parent, especially of a newborn, you’ve probably lived this paradox: your baby finally drifts off, your body is screaming for rest… and yet, sleep seems impossible. I know the feeling well - I’m a mother of two, and there were countless moments, day and night, when I lay next to a peacefully sleeping baby, heart racing, mind buzzing, and not a wink of sleep in sight.
As a clinic hypnotherapist specialising in perinatal mental health, I also see many parents caught in this same cycle. Here’s what I’ve learned, combining lived experience and professional practice.
What is Postpartum Insomnia?
Postpartum insomnia is the difficulty of falling or staying asleep in the weeks or months following childbirth, even when your baby is asleep. It’s very common and can leave parents feeling exhausted, anxious, or constantly “on alert,” affecting mood, focus, and overall wellbeing. Understanding that postpartum insomnia is a natural response to the demands of early parenthood - rather than a personal failing - is the first step toward managing it with compassion and practical strategies.
Why Sleep Feels Impossible
As parents, we are wired to respond to our babies’ every cue, keeping our nervous system in a constant “alert mode.” This hyper-vigilance is completely adaptive - it helps keep your little one safe - but it can make it nearly impossible to switch off when your baby finally drifts off to sleep.
Racing thoughts, lingering worries, or an endless “to-do” list can further hijack these rare moments of quiet, leaving you awake even when your body desperately needs rest.
Gentle, Practical Strategies to Rest
1. Shift Your Mindset From Sleep to Rest During the Day
If sleep isn’t happening, aim for mindful rest. Lie down, close your eyes, breathe, and let your body recover. Even 10–20 minutes of intentional rest can rejuvenate you more than half-heartedly scrolling your phone.
2. Calm Your Nervous System
Techniques that help shift from “high alert” to relaxation include:
Slow exhale breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6–8 seconds, repeat 6–10 times.
Legs-up-the-wall: Just a minute can help blood flow and nervous system reset.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense, then release each muscle group from head to toe.
Guided relaxation or meditation: Listening to a short recording can help your mind let go of racing thoughts.
Warm shower or bath before bed: Warmth soothes muscles and encourages a sense of relaxation.
3. Create a Mini Wind-Down Routine
Even a tiny routine signals your body that rest is allowed. For example:
Dim the lights
Drink a small glass of water
Stretch shoulders and neck
Take 10 slow breaths
Use a lavender pillow spray or soothing essential oil.
Consistency is key - your brain will learn the cues for rest.
4. Brain Dump
If your mind races, grab a notebook and write down everything swirling around for 2-3 minutes. The simple act of writing can quiet the mental chatter.
5. Permission to Pause
Parenting guilt is real. But rest whenever an opportunity presents itself is not indulgence - it’s essential. Remind yourself: my body and mind need this, and resting helps me care for my child better.
It’s Not Magic
These strategies won’t always help you fall asleep immediately - sometimes your body just isn’t ready. But by practicing intentional rest, calming your nervous system, and letting go of guilt, you can reclaim the restorative power of calm, which over time supports better rest and, eventually, sleep.
I Can Help:
Exhaustion is normal, but relentless stress and postpartum overwhelm doesn’t have to be. By combining mindfulness techniques with simple therapeutic tools, I support parents in reclaiming a profound sense of calm and nurturing both their wellbeing and their connection with their little ones. Small, intentional practices can transform short pockets of time into genuine restoration - and, over time, help you feel more resilient, present, and supported in this demanding season of life.